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  • Writer's pictureMark O. Estes

Reader's Response to Alexander Chee’s “The Curse” from How to Write An Autobiographical Novel




Being that this was the first piece of work I’ve read by Alexander Chee, I was happy to slide into his soothing prose as if I was slipping into a warm bubble bath after a long day of nonstop fuckery. He easily invites the reader into his idyllic Mexican summer abroad in 1982 where while being a foreign exchange student he not only became a fluent Spanish speaker, but he learned some intriguing points about himself as well. Chee made his time in Tuxtla Gutierrez, Chiapas seem as if it was the plot to one of his fave fantasy novels he brought along to read while learning his surrounding culture, seeing the beauty in what others might perceive as bland and stereotypical from an ignorant American lens. The impeccable maturity he exuded while simultaneously absorbing Mexico’s culture, mastering the Spanish language, and knowing the difference between lust and affection for the local boys in the area (and a fellow American classmate) seemingly stemmed from his own sense of being an Other in a very white area of Maine.


This was where the title of the essay, "The Curse," finally connected with me. Up until that point I was wondering what was 'the curse?' What could be possibly wrong with spending a summer abroad for a Spanish class (with no actual classes; "...the summer itself was supposed to be a class" Chee stated in the piece) while staying with a seemingly well off rich family as your hosts?


A key scene resurfaced in my brain where Chee is talking to his American class mate Nick after swimming at the luxurious country club in the city. In the scene, Nick states that Chee is "going native" after mastering the Spanish language before any of his American counterparts, and could also physically 'pass' for one of the residents of Tuxtla Gutierrez. It didn't dawn on me as quickly as it did for Chee at that time, but juxtaposing how he acclimated so easily to his new surroundings against what he was returning home to at the end of the summer, the 'curse' became evident. Getting a taste of not being reminded of your mixed race heritage every second of your life in a very, chill environment sounds like heaven. Then having to return to an area where you face a status quo of hardships based mainly on racial and economical bullshit is a curse indeed.


It's usually around that time, sometimes even younger, when the world starts to get ugly. And Chee managed to showcase this not in a fifteen plus page narrative, but in a few words, key moments that reminded him, and this reader of that fact. The revelation at the end of the essay clobbered me like a familiar bully returning for one more gut-punch to the stomach, just for old times sake. It reminded when I first realized that being a black, gay kid in the south was not going to sparkle with a lot of people. In a way, that was my ‘curse.’


With that said, I feel that "The Curse" also served as Chee's moment of self-discovery, even if it may have happened prior to his Mexican summer. His keen sense to detail, combined with his admirable penchant for learning, and just his passive, yet cognizant attitude of the shit going on in front of him are Chee's superpowers, something he touched upon by mentioning that he was writing about ‘mutants with special abilities.’ Chee clearly ahead of the curve and way over the mundane life he temporarily left behind and caught glimpses of with his classmates during their field trips in the Tuxtla countryside. In other words, I really can’t wait to read what’s next for Chee in How to Write an Autobiographical Novel.


Image courtesy of GoodReads

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